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This past month I've gone from an extremely-stimulating gourd of yerba mate each morning (a habit I've consistently had for a year) to nothing at all. Even though mate has a little less caffeine than coffee, it makes up for it with a different, more euphoric kind of buzz that I realized I was fiending for a little too much. And while it sped up my thoughts it also ... scattered them, in a way. I felt less like myself. Thanks for this

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I went a caffeine craze for about a week to myself going back to gym or running after work now and I couldn’t really handle that much at one time. I kind of have a nagging feeling of anxiety that I pent up for a period time only to release for spurts until it’s all depleted. Watching sports and trading stocks crypto allows me an outlet help realize the rollercoaster of this. During school and during covid I always felt this internally but it felt like I held on to the safety guard now I just say fuck it and put my hands into the air and ride the coaster. Went to a doctor a few years back and they gave me a medicine that me me feel like I was restrained for about month and I’d rather feel like I’m enjoying the coaster when it happens rather than just witness it from the outside. But I’m all for people choosing when they let the coaster take them bc the periods on the couch suck but at least you know down the line there is another summit.

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